On Friday, the session will be from 6:45 to 9:45 p.m. Saturday’s session will be from 8:45 a.m. to 12:45 p.m. Early bird registration through Feb. 17 is $45 per person; after Feb. 17, it will be $55 per person. To register, go to loveandrespect.com.
Eggerichs is best known for having written one of the most popular marriage books of the last decade, “Love & Respect,” which has sold nearly 3 million copies. Recently, he released “Love & Respect in the Family,” which focuses on parent/child relationships. He says that in all of the years he’s traveled the country speaking, it’s the one book he’s been asked more than any other to write. But, wanting to wait until his children were grown, he’d held off. So, it’s a project 35 years in the making.
Early reviews have shown the content of “Love & Respect in the Family” will transform as many families as the previous book has marriages. The book, one critic said, is “destined to become one of those bedrock, foundational, must-read books for parents — and not just parents of teens, but parents of all ages — since there are many adults whose relationships with their parents is broken.
President and founder of Love & Respect Ministries, Eggerichs is not only an internationally renowned speaker and bestselling author, but has studied the family dynamic for more than 30 years as a counselor and pastor. In addition to “Love & Respect” and “Love & Respect in the Family,” he is the author of “Love and Respect: The Love She Most Desires,” and “The Respect He Desperately Needs,” which earned a Gold Medallion and Retailer’s Choice and Family Christian Book of the Year Award, having sold more than 1.5 million copies.
Based on these three decades of scholarship, counseling and extensive scientific and biblical research, Eggerichs and his wife developed the Love & Respect Conference, through which they provide life-changing resources to more than 50,000 married, divorced, separated, dating and single people, both live and by video each year. Groups they’ve spoken to include those from the NFL, PGA and members of Congress. The Eggerichses have been married for 40 years and have three grown children.
His expertise in family conflict resolution, includes — but is not limited to — dealing with the negative reactions from children and/or spouse; motivating, meeting a child or spouse’s need(s), how to handle an indifferent or unresponsive partner or child for those that feel hopeless in their relationships; childhood development and church leadership.
Eggerichs said if parents will read and apply the principles in “Love & Respect in the Family,” they will be able to stop the crazy cycle of family conflict and begin to energize their children.
How do we know? Because its biblically-based principles have been validated by the author’s own children. This book includes the perspectives of both parents and their children — Jonathan, David and Joy. The fact that his own adult children speak into the content sets it apart. Also, because of the trauma of his own upbringing, he brings a different perspective than other authors, who may have had a more idyllic childhood.
Eggerichs said the Bible commands love and respect between parent and child (Exodus 20:12, Titus 2:4), just as it teaches love and respect between a husband and wife (Ephesians 5:33). But, he continued, “make no mistake — “Love & Respect in the Family: The Respect Parents Desire, The Love Children Need” has an entirely new content. It is completely new — not a spin-off or repurposing of the marriage book.
“I have looked at every passage dealing with parenting from Genesis to Revelation. I have addressed those major passages dealing with parenting. What disturbs me today is that some of us who have our academic credentials tend to bring our secular research into the church, but in order to sanctify the content, we go to the Bible after the fact and look for principles to reinforce what we want to say. Too often, those principles/passages have nothing to do with parenting. The author is not talking about parenting in the passages selected.”
Eggerichs said, “When they feel unloved, children react to parents in ways that feel disrespectful. When feeling disrespected, parents react to children in ways that feel unloving. Neither premeditates this negative reaction,” he said, “but this is how each appears to the other and round and round it goes.”
He said it’s called the “Family Crazy Cycle,” and the book that people have been asking him to write for years helps parents revolutionize their family dynamic and jump off of the “Family Crazy Cycle” once and for all. A book which helps families understand each other and communicate may be more relevant than ever before, Eggerichs said.
He explained, “Because, despite our ability to communicate across dozens of platforms and devices, we’re losing our ability to communicate. And, though dysfunction has always been a natural byproduct of growth and change in the family unit, families are perhaps more dysfunctional than ever before. With media and culture battling more fiercely than ever before for the minds and hearts of our children, understanding their needs and keeping open a channel of communication through which we can support, guide and love them is paramount.”
The book explains volumes of information about family dynamics in a simple way and provides a simple plan for parents to follow. It validates each parent’s need for respect — particularly the father — and explains how to deal with the feeling of being disrespected.
““Love & Respect in the Family,” Eggerichs said, “reveals the foundational reason to parent to hear Christ say, “Well done!”
Both parent and child-focused, he said it begins and ends with what the Bible says about parenting, “instead of using the Bible to justify what we want to say psychologically and sociologically.”
The book is intentionally biblical and a comprehensive attempt is made to rightly represent all the salient Scriptures to parents.
“With the best of my ability, when it comes to the biblical topic of parenting,” Eggerichs said, “I have tried to be an ambassador for the kingdom of Christ. I believe that, as a pastor and teacher, I have a responsibility to rightly represent Christ’s platform when it comes to marriage and parenting.”
He said he knows he has to give an account before Him on that final day, and “I’m very aware of the fact that the apostle James says that those who teach will receive a stricter judgment. Thus, this is less about selling a bestseller and more about rightly representing the heart of Christ to parents. I happen to believe that when we honor Him, He will honor us.”
Eggerichs said he tried with great diligence and perseverance to rightly set forth what God has said to parents about their role — “one reason that I waited until I was in my 60s before I wrote a book on this.”
He offers the acronym GUIDES, which surfaces from a biblical passage about the role of parents — give, understand, instruct, discipline, encourage, and supplicate.
“Love & Respect in the Family” is published by W Publishing Group. It was released in November priced at $19.99 (hardcover). For more information, go to www.prbythebook.com/emerson-eggerichs.
EDITOR’S NOTE: Emerson Eggerichs received his bachelor of arts in biblical studies and a master’s in communications from Wheaton College and Graduate School. He was later awarded his master’s in divinity from Dubuque Seminary and earned a doctorate from Michigan State University in child and family ecology. He has served on the board of the National Center for Fathering, is on the board of the Michigan Family Forum and has served on the committee for Michigan’s Year of the Child and Family with the Michigan Lieutenant governor. He has served as senior pastor of East Lansing Trinity Church for 19 years, during which time, the church grew from 450 to more than 2,000 members.