Larry's Trump Card: It's my special day!

Posted 4/1/18

I knew it would happen, and I've waited a long time. The federal government is recognizing my birthday!The guys in the blue suits in Washington, D.C., have decided to play "Larry's Trump Card" and …

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Larry's Trump Card: It's my special day!


I knew it would happen, and I've waited a long time. The federal government is recognizing my birthday!

The guys in the blue suits in Washington, D.C., have decided to play "Larry's Trump Card" and declare April 18 a special day. It may be excruciatingly painful  for those  who wait until the last minute to pay taxes. They're calling it "Tax Day," but on the home front, we  know it's just another way to celebrate my birthday!

Of course, my tax refund (what little there was of it) arrived some weeks back. I don't even have enough left for a birthday party. I'll probably be as unhappy as those who must share last year's monetary gains with the "guvment."

The "people that matter"  had to take specific steps to target my birth date, having "Tax Day" two days later than usual.

The research firm WalletHub has also targeted this special time of the year. They've put together some fun facts related to this confusing and stressful time of the year. There are also some facts that could prove informative.

With Tax Day looming large in just a few days, the WalletHub statistics may help you adjust during this time of confusion.

They feature a wide range of fun facts about respondents' opinions on tax preparation, the Internal Revenue Service, and more.

While the tax rate report compares the cost of the average person's various obligations in all 50 states and the District of Columbia, it is surprising the researchers discovered states with no income tax weren't always the cheapest overall. These states tend to have higher sales and property taxes.

Tennessee fared well in these tax bracket inquiries.

The state is No. 1 in vehicle property taxes; No. 6 in overall effective state and local tax rates; also sixth in income tax; 12th in real estate tax; but drops to 43rd for sales and excise taxes.  

Now for some fun facts:

• Fewer than 40 percent of respondents are happy with President Donald Trump’s tax reforms. Sixty-nine percent think the reforms are better for corporations than consumers, and 67 percent think they benefit the rich more than the middle class;

• Ninety percent of people think the government currently spends their tax dollars poorly;

• Thirty percent of people say making a math mistake is their biggest Tax Day fear, edging out not having enough money  at the top the list;

• Thirty-seven percent of people would move to a different country for a tax-free future. Twenty-four percent would get an “IRS” tattoo, 22 percent would switch political parties, and 15 percent would take a vow of celibacy.

• Twenty-nine percent of people like their in-laws more than the IRS, 13 percent would prefer a cold shower to dealing the IRS, and 9 percent would take a traffic jam (over the IRS).

Many of you may be surprised the government decided to have this year's Tax Day on my birthday, but you might change your mind if I provide you some "for instances.":

For instance, do you realize we  have a "Day" for almost everything?

For instance, April 18 is not only  National Tax Day, and Larry's Birthday. It has also been singled out for a number of other designations — many I agree with, and others I question.

For instance, April 18 is National Stress Awareness Day — which probably has a connection with Tax Day!

April 18 is also National Newspaper Columnists Day — which seems to me to be another recognition of my impending holiday!

April 18  is also a day for something I greatly favor — Pet Owners Independence Day.

It is also National Animal Crackers Day; World Heritage Day; and Nation Velociraptor Awareness Day. This is very appropriate, since I haven't seen a velociraptor in ages!

You might say this is far too many "days" for one day, even if it is my birthday.

Before this year, the biggest celebration on my birthday was Easter Sunday. But, back to the point.

If you stopped to think a minute, you'll realize that April 18 is only one day of the month, and there are 29 additional days in the month. There are also the monthly celebrations:

April is Alcohol Awareness Month, Dog Appreciation Month, National Anxiety Month, National Grilled Cheese Sandwich Month, Prevention of Cruelty to Animals Month, Stress Awareness Month, National Cancer Control Month, Mathematics and Statistics Month, National Pecan Month, and National Poetry Month. 

How many special days, and special months, are we celebrating each year? Far too many to count. 

We should be able to cut back on these special times, but not quite yet. We must first plan one huge celebration on April 18 — not for Tax Day, but for my birthday.


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