By carefully following these rules, you can be certain to avoid intimacy.
Rule 1. Don’t talk. This is the number one rule for a reason. The first and most important step to severely limit intimacy is to keep your mouth shut. Before long, significant persons in your life will give up, knowing that they can get better responses from their pets.
Rule 2. Never show your feelings. Since intimacy isn’t just about what you might or might not think, but is vitally related to how you feel, make sure you don’t share any feelings, except (of course) anger.
Rule 3. Always be pleasant. By being pleasant all the time, you can effectively hide unpleasant thoughts and feelings. This will keep you fake and no one wants intimacy with a fake.
Rule 4. Always win: Reduce relationships into win/lose confrontations. Intimacy will be the first casualty.
Rule 5. Always keep busy. Busyness is a wonderful way to avoid intimacy. By staying too busy you can avoid honestly facing and dealing with those who care about you.
Rule 6. Always be right: Being right all the time keeps you obnoxious. Who wants to be intimate with an obnoxious person?
Rule 7. Never argue. By never arguing you never solve anything. Unresolved fights will help keep any real hope of genuine intimacy blocked.
Rule 8. Make your partner guess what you want. This unproductive game played by most 3-year-olds works well even in adulthood to block intimacy.
Rule 9. Always look out for No. 1. Since good intimacy demands that you be relationship-centered, stay self-centered.
Rule 10. Keep the television on. This will provide a continuous distraction that will keep anything significant from being shared.
If you are one who would truly like to have intimacy in your life, you might consider bypassing my 10 rules for avoiding intimacy.